My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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