I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
