she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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