I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
