So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
thus making me awesome and them whores
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize