..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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