Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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