the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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