If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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