I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
God, I missed his penis.
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