ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
