the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
