Already got asked if we're dating
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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