Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
