I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
