If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
if only i could text you this smell
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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