hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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