All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
whose parrot is this?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
