hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
