So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
then he tried to convert me to islam
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize