I can't breathe out the right side of my face
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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