Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
