Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
