p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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