Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
whose parrot is this?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
