Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
