you lied. pity sex is amazing.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
