fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
