i just google imaged poop.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize