It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
