I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
