How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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