Dual....:-)
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
