i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
