no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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