yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
