i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
