you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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