The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
