can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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