Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
