Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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