you would pick up someone in the library
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Randomize
