Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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