I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
you will always have a special place in my vag
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
