Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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