I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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