By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Yo dont text me then not text me
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
