I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
he puts the penis in happiness.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
