Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
