my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
