no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
