So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
