I think i sorta joined a cult last night
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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