Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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