he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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