Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I'm just crazy horny about you
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
