i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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