Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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