sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
