what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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