She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize