Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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