Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
