..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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