Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
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