Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
