Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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