What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Randomize
