PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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