hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
