when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
