do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize