I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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