Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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