Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
